Why don't I feel worse?

Why don't I feel worse?Is it denial that keeps me from feeling worse about my new and not so great circumstances? About life in general? After all, my country is on the brink of war.   Global warming is reaching critical mass.  The world is full of discord.  Full of sad news.  And what of my personal life.I'm thirty-three years old, my favorite number.  An aspiring and by all accounts, very talented singer.  One part of a gifted band of musicians all full of dreams.  The only child of a warm hearted native Oregonian with the unflinching will to prove it.  A child of one of the summers of love.  The lasting legacy of a heartfelt but short lived interracial coupling that sprung from a time full of promise and potential.   A graduate of my state college.  An unlikely homecoming queen.  Popular then and now.  Friend to many.  Enemy to only the very deserving.  A gym rat.  A guilty yuppie.  A girl with many an old boyfriend most all of whom she still calls friend.  A traveler.  French speaker.  And the latest title, cancer patient.Cancer patient? No cure? Chronic health issue? Does not compute.  You must be kidding.Written 1/13/2003