I'm On the Mend

An update that Teisha wrote to family and friends on Friday 9/28/07"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars"Persian ProverbI like that.I've been putting off writing an update and I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe because it hasn't been all sunshine and roses.then again, there hasn't been a day without laughter either.  Shit happens. And in this case, at the risk of being entirely too graphic- I mean that last sentence literally.Right about mid-August I developed another case of Graft Vs. Host Disease, this time in my GI tract which I don't have to tell you is the part of your body that digests food. The main symptom (and who needs more than this one) was a fairly severe case of diarrhea. It lasted a long time. Weeks. Is this too much information? Forgive me in the name of the truth. Lots of pain medication. Lots of time very close to the bathroom. If mine were big enough, I would have slept in it.Still, Amelia had a show on Sauvie Island on a hot August night and there were so many wonderfully familiar faces, friends and family and a gazillion little kids (no kidding) and it was like a dream. It made me cry with happiness to be on that stage singing, it was the highlight of my year and it made me feel as if I do have a purpose, it was sublime.In recent weeks, we've spent a good amount of time at the clinic at OHSU. We're always impressed with the people there. Last Sunday, we were there and I was having a hard time with a mean bloody nose. I passed out in the bathroom. I fainted again coming out into the hall. Mom caught me and says we did a very graceful dance to the floor. What ensued was a nice three days back on 5C where I got my transplant. I actually enjoyed seeing my nurses again. They drew flowers on my water bottle and took really good care of me. I came home Wednesday on a special diet meant to help (and it is) with the GVHD in the gut stuff. This is it is- canned fruit, cooked vegetables, starches, soup, bread, cereal. Not bad, and it seems to be working. Can I get an Amen?When we're "on the hill" there's a routine. We read the paper and Mom has been working the same Sudoku book for, like, six months. She says it just relaxes her mind. I say great! It is the same everytime - I'm weighed, my blood pressure and temperature are taken, blood is drawn (sounds worse than it is.) we wait for lab results, we see Dr. Meyers, maybe get some sort of blood support (potassium, platelets, etc.) go home. Mom gets a mocha. Shelly gets a soda. Sometimes we're loud laughing at ourselves. The other day, while I was getting blood drawn- Mom and Shelly did the wave. Yeah, the WAVE.Sometimes it does feel dark- a long process, a million little pills to take several times a day, a hazy steroid-induced fog of a place I'll be happy to have behind me...but then, I try to remember that thing about "be here now" and I try to remember that happiness is not guaranteed but won over one small gratitude at a time. And sometimes this thought just kind of pisses me off, but not usually. A skim of the newspaper, 15 minutes of news, an episode of The War and there-in is some perspective.Still, "When it is dark enough, you can see the stars."I love you and wish you well...Sincerely,Teisha June